


Love, Michelle

by itsreallylaterightnow



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: BAMF Michelle Jones, Discontinued for now, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friends to lovers to friend to lovers, Love Rosie AU, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker and Michelle Jones are in love, Peter and Michelle need better communication skills, Precious Peter Parker, Seekrest this is for you, Slow Burn, like so slow, long distance, they are just really bad at showing it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23695426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsreallylaterightnow/pseuds/itsreallylaterightnow
Summary: Peter Parker and Michelle Jones have been friends since meeting at Midtown. Their relationship has had many up's and down's, the universe seemingly cursing them to never cross paths no matter how desperately the two want each other.OrThe Love, Rosie AU that I didn't know I needed until I saw Seekrest post about itDISCONTINUED FOR NOW - MAYBE I'LL COME BACK ONE DAY
Relationships: Brad Davis/Michelle Jones, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Gwen Stacy
Comments: 18
Kudos: 52





	1. Prologue: Happiest Day of My Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seekrest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/gifts).



> Helllooooooo sooooo I'm starting another multi-chapter fic - woohoo ! But honestly I couldn't help myself! This is for my sweet friend Seekrest! You make me SO happy with your works, I hope this can do the same for you! :) 
> 
> Also, this is just the introduction, I promise every other chapter is going to be much... MUCH longer than this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m Michelle.” She said again, swallowing when she realized she had repeated herself. Peter watched her expectantly, his eyes worried. Kind. Caring. Soft. Peter. No, she had to pull herself together. “And this has got to be… one of – the happiest days… of my life.”

“Take a deep breath and start at the beginning. Tell them how we first met.” She thought to herself.

_“Hi.” She had said, voice quiet. She wasn’t sure about this whole new school thing. If Michelle were being honest, middle school had sucked. No one wanted to be friends with the girl that would rather talk about the meaning of the Odyssey than the newest song that whatever boyband had put out._

_Let’s just say she didn’t have any high hopes about making any friends. Even at the nerd school._

_“Hi.” The boy next to her had said, and Michelle gave him a toothless grin. He had smiled back. A goofy, lopsided smile that had Michelle thinking that maybe this school wouldn’t be so bad._

Tell them that ever since we shared our dreams…

_“I think I want to be a lawyer. Get in the grit, get to the truth, represent people that don’t have a voice.” She had said during their second week at lunch break. Peter nodded._

_“I think I want to work for Stark Industries. Work on like world-saving technology, you know?”_

_“You know Stark Industries capitalizes on war?” She had said._

_“Not anymore, Michelle. Tony Stark changed.”_

“No, keep that as our secret.” She had to keep something.

“Michelle? Michelle, it’s time.” Ned said as she forced herself to stand from the table. Her legs were numb. She couldn’t breathe. She was going to fall over; she was certain of it.

_Tell them that this is,_

_That this has to be…_

“Everybody!”

_One of the happiest days of my life._

“Please!”

She stood at the podium. Her eyes met Peter’s. Oh, God… Peter’s eyes. Brown, warm, comforting, home. He smiled; his hand laced in _hers._ Michelle smiled – sure that it didn’t reach her eyes.

“For those of you I haven’t had the chance to say hi to properly, I’m Michelle. My friends call me MJ, well… like two of them.” Michelle squeezed her hand into a fist, doing her best not to let anyone see how badly she was shaking. “I’m Michelle.” She said again, swallowing when she realized she had repeated herself. Peter watched her expectantly, his eyes worried. Kind. Caring. Soft. Peter. No, she had to pull herself together. “And this has got to be… one of – the happiest days… of my life.”


	2. Congratulations, Mrs. Jones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry – MJ, I shouldn’t have said that-”
> 
> “Get out.” She said again. And her voice was stone, she pushed her emotions down, leveling her breathing. Don’t let him see the pain. Don’t let anyone see the damage.
> 
> And as Peter stood there, looking like a puppy that had just been kicked, Michelle turned, packet in hand, and walked to the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two! And don't ask how I just wrote and edited this whole deal in an hour... every once in a blue moon a writing angel overtakes my body and I am super productive... don't get used to it.
> 
> But please do enjoy :)

5 Years Earlier

Michelle sighed, setting down the chemistry homework that was plaguing her birthday. It was Saturday, and she had an exam Monday that she was absolutely dreading. She had been trying to study all day, but honestly – it was the worst birthday she had ever experienced. Eighteen years old and the only thing she had receive from Peter and Ned was absolute radio silence. Not that she expected them to do something crazy it was just… she had finally done it. She had finally decided to let down her walls and let Peter and Ned in. To make friends and be open with them. She had thought that friends made birthdays fun. But here she was, three o’clock in the afternoon and the only birthday gift she had been given was from her dad. He had promised her that he would be spending that Sunday with her, but he had been scheduled for surgery after surgery for that day. Obviously, Michelle couldn’t fault the man for saving lives. Plus, he had promised to take her to MOMA the next day, a tradition they’d had for years. She loved him, he was her rock, but she couldn’t help feeling disappointed.

Michelle had always been fairly used to important people in her life missing her birthday. Her mom had skipped town on her and her dad years ago. To be fair, it had been before Michelle could even remember. She didn’t know much of anything about her mom.

She shook her head and stood up. She wasn’t going to spend her eighteenth birthday wallowing about some woman that didn’t care enough to stay in her life. Michelle grabbed her coat and scarf before slipping into her boots. She wrapped her hand around her backpack and headed to her door. She was going to go buy herself a book and enjoy her birthday by her damn self. That’s all she needed. She didn’t need her loser friends or to cry about the woman that left her so long ago. She could have a good day all on her own.

Michelle swung her door open, staring at the ground. As she went to take a step, she went nose first into someone’s shoulder. She jumped back and looked up to see a blushing Peter Parker in her doorway.

He was holding a smooshed bouquet of flowers, a card, and a small wrapped package. Michelle took in his disheveled appearance and had to hide a grin. She could see his spider suit underneath his three sweaters and his mask was tucked sloppily into his hoodie pocket.

“Happy birthday!” Peter exclaimed, awkwardly holding out the flowers. She looked at them, a dozen black dahlias. They were a bit broken and smooshed, but Michelle’s heart raced at the sight.

“Thank you.” She said, taking them gingerly from him. “Come on in, I need to get them in some water.” She stepped out of his way, allowing him to come into her apartment. Michelle laid her coat and scarf on the back of a dining room chair before grabbing a vase and filling it with water.

“Sorry they’re smooshed… I would have been here earlier, but there was a drug deal going on and – well, long story short it got a little out of hand. The uh – the flowers took the brunt of it.” Michelle felt a weird warm feeling in her chest as she looked at the crooked flowers.

“They’re still beautiful. Where did you get these? They’re spring flowers… and its February.” She could see Peter shifting awkwardly in his chair.

“Oh, I um- I have my ways. Do you think there’s much Spider-Man can’t get ahold of?” He said, and Michelle squinted at him suspiciously.  
There was a lull in conversation as Peter looked around the room awkwardly.

“So is your dad here? Or were you going to meet him?” He asked.

“Oh, he’s at work. Surgery doesn’t stop for birthdays.” She said, meaning it to be funny, but she felt a pang in her chest even as she said it.

“So you’ve been alone all day?” He asked, his eyes taking on a sad look. Michelle wished they wouldn’t.

“Well, we’re going to celebrate tomorrow. Go to MOMA. But yeah, I did chemistry… and um – I was going to go to Greg’s café and get a book and coffee when I ran into you.” She said. Michelle and Peter had been alone together before, but something about him bringing her flowers and a gift and being in her apartment alone had her feeling very strange.

“Ned was supposed to come, but his mom found out about his English grade and he’s grounded for like… ever. We really meant to get here earlier we had this whole plan for the day. Sorry that you’ve been alone.”

“It’s fine Peter, not like I haven’t done it before.” Michelle said it, and immediately wanted to smack herself in the face.

Peter just cleared his throat. “Well, are you still down to go to Greg’s? I mean, I’m not allowed to touch coffee, but they have a great hot chocolate.” Michelle looked up at Peter and offered him a smile, the awkward tension in the room seemingly melting away.

“You hate bookstores.” She said. Peter always complained that bookstores were the most boring places ever. He would much rather be swinging along the streets than sat in a booth reading Edgar Allen Poe.

“It’s _your_ birthday, MJ. We do whatever you want to do! Come on, let’s go!” Peter hopped up, grabbing the package. “Oh, this is for you.” He said, handing her the gift.

“Thanks.” Michelle opened the packaging, that she was certain May had done. She, Peter, and Ned had volunteered for Operation Christmas Child last year, it was an organization that provided Christmas gifts for children in third world countries who otherwise wouldn’t have gotten anything, and Peter had absolutely sucked at wrapping them. To the point that Michelle and Ned had done all the work while he pouted.

The memory brought back as smile as Michelle found a beautiful leather-bound journal. It had her name etched into the front of the delicately made leatherwork. She let out a soft gasp.

“I remember you said that your journal was almost out of pages… so I thought this would be cool. If you don’t like it – or want a different style that’s- “

“Parker, shut up. It’s perfect.” She looked into his dark eyes. “Thank you.” Peter nodded.

“Well, let’s not keep Greg’s waiting.”

* * *

Michelle hadn’t realized how late it was until they left Greg’s and the New York skyline was light up.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you Monday.” She said.

“I’ll walk you home.” He said.

“Peter, you’ll be back-tracking like… twelve blocks.” He lived in the opposite direction of her apartment.

“Michelle, first off – it’s your birthday, I’m not letting you walk home alone, in the cold. Second, I don’t walk home. I swing home.” He said.

“Oh I forget how much cooler than the rest of us you are.” She joked. It was freezing out, and Michelle burrowed her nose into her jacket as they walked. She was lost in her thoughts when she jerked to a stop and gasped. Peter whipped around to look at her, before swiveling his head to see what she was freaking out about. “Oh my Go- we have to go!” She cried, turning to run.

“What- Michelle, what on earth is wrong?” He cried.

“I can’t believe I forgot! Peter!” She grabbed his shoulders, an anxious look riddled across her face. “The letters! Today was the day for the letters! Come on! We have to see if we got in! Let’s go to my place first then we can get yours and open them together! I’ll even let you swing us to your place- come on!” She grabbed his gloved hand and drug him into a run. They had only been a block from her apartment. The two raced inside to the P.O. boxes and she put in her code, fingers shaking, as she pulled the card out. It was a thick packet, with Oxford’s stamp on the top right corner and she felt her heart begin to race.

“Alright, get Spidey-d up, and swing us over to your place! We have to open them together!” She felt her adrenaline begin to pump in excitement.

Ned had always known that he wanted to go to MIT, with as good as he was with technology, he shouldn’t have gone anywhere else. But Michelle and Peter had decided years ago that they wanted to go to Oxford together. It had been a random conversation, Peter explaining that his dad had gone to Oxford. He had gotten a sad look in his eyes as he had explained that he wanted to be able to share in at least one of his dad’s life experience. He had been shocked to learn that Michelle’s dad had gotten his M.D. from Oxford, and that’s why she had been planning on attending. They had laughed at the coincidence, and since then it had been a growing excitement in Michelle’s head. They had talked about sharing a flat. Since she already knew about Spider-Man it would make life ten times easier on Peter to not have to hide his extracurricular activities from a roommate. They had talked about planning their class schedules together and making sure they took their hardest courses together so they could help one another in homework.

So the confusion Michelle felt when she turned to tell Peter to hurry up with the suit, only to see a horrible look in his eyes, was palpable. He had this – horrible sad and uncomfortable look spread across his face.

“Well come on! Or I’m not going to wait on you to open it!” He still didn’t move. “Parker! This is the beginning to the best experience of our lives, let’s go!”

And she should have never dared to let her get so excited about something involving another person. Because she saw it. In that second, she could see exactly why Peter was so upset. Michelle felt her stomach drop. Just one more person in her life skipping out on a commitment they had made.

“You didn’t apply.” She didn’t say it as a question, but rather a statement. And the way that he kept his brown eyes trained on the floor of the mail room told her everything she needed to know.

“Get out.” She said, completely forgetting about the envelope in her hand.

“MJ, I’m sorry. I – with Spider-Man an-and the internship I couldn’t just – “She held up a hand and he went quiet.

“No. No excuses. You let me believe… until _right_ now that you were still planning on doing this with me. You could have had the decency to come to me Peter. I get that you’re all buddy-buddy with Stark, but are really going to push away going to Oxford for him? What about holding on to the last bit of your dad? Huh? Or what about communicating with me? God, you’re so selfish.” She turned to leave, but Peter grabbed her arm.

“Michelle, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but I just- I didn’t know how to say- “

“How to tell me that Tony’s more important to you than I am? Or were you too much of a coward to tell me that you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving this place? You know, if you’re not careful Peter, you’ll spend your whole life cowering behind the idea that you’re saving New York just to ignore the fact that you’re terrified of the real world.” She spit, not caring how cruel her words were. She was furious. She was sick of being backed out on.

“Yeah? What about you? Huh? Running as far away as you can from the place that reminds you of the fact that your mom left? I’m not the only coward in this situation, Michelle!” Peter retaliated.

“Get out.” Her heart fell. Because how dare he? How dare he bring up something he knew hurt. Something that she had buried and pushed down time and time again to try and hide the pain. She only had one picture of her mom. Brown hair and blue eyes, pale skin, smiling at the camera. Michelle’s dad had no idea that she still had it. She would still hold it sometimes, and cry. She had told Peter about how much she missed her mom once, thinking he would understand. So she didn’t understand how he could be so cruel as to throw it back in her face.

Because it was true. Every inch of New York reminded her of what could have been. She went to the coffee shop and imagined what it would have been like to sit in those booths with both of her parents. She walked to the subway and imagined going shopping with her mom. And no matter how many times she tried to see the city for what it was, all she ever saw was not enough. And she needed to get away.

“I’m sorry – MJ, I shouldn’t have said that-”

“Get out.” She said again. And her voice was stone, she pushed her emotions down, leveling her breathing. Don’t let him see the pain. Don’t let anyone see the damage.

And as Peter stood there, looking like a puppy that had just been kicked, Michelle turned, packet in hand, and walked to the elevator.

When the elevator doors closed the tears came forth. She didn’t know why she cared so much – tried telling herself it was stupid. It wasn’t like they were dating, and he was breaking up with her. He could go to college wherever he wanted to, but she couldn’t help the pain in her chest as she thought about how much less exciting moving to England alone would be.

Standing there, in the elevator, Michelle pried open the packet.

And for whatever reason, she couldn’t find it in her heart to be excited when she read “congratulations, Mrs. Jones.” Because it really didn’t feel like a win at all.


	3. If There's Anything You Should Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrightyyy so I decided to make the updates (roughly) every Tuesday! I am almost done with this year of college, so updates may be much more frequent after that, but whichever way it happens, I hope you all enjoy!

It had been two months, and Prom was right around the corner. Michelle had barely looked at Peter since her birthday… hangout (date?) She had begun to make lists of what she would need to take to Oxford with her. On a whim, Michelle had applied for a summer internship for the Law program, and she had gotten accepted. She had been ecstatic.

She had put on a front. Telling everyone how excited she was – how ready she was to get out of New York and into England. Truth the told, without Peter going … well it didn’t really seem as exciting anymore. Nevertheless, Michelle was almost completely done shopping, and she had even gotten in touch with her roommate, a girl named Ruby Dunne who worked at her parent’s shop but had been wanting to move out forever. Michelle had really enjoyed the few conversations they had so she wasn’t too worried about hating her new roommate. Everything was falling into place.

She would leave the second week of May. Her dad had told her that if she wanted, he could take off work to help her move, but Michelle really just wanted to do it on her own. She didn’t need to be worried about anyone else being with her. It was the start to her new life. England, Law school, hours and hours of reading and studying and there was no way in Hell she was going to let anyone distract her. This is what she had always dreamed of.

It was the Monday before Prom and she walked into class five minutes early. Her homeroom was always absolutely freezing, so she pulled on the extra sweater she had brought and sat in her usual seat. Mr. Smith was droning on and on about his miserable weekend as she pulled out her sketchbook. Her eyes flitted to Peter’s seat, three rows in front of her and she frowned when he wasn’t in class.

Shaking him from her thoughts, she began to doodle some more. Right as the late bell sounded, Parker came bolting into the room, apologizing for his tardiness. Mr. Smith didn’t even miss a beat, continuing to explain how he had dropped his keys in the sewer, but Michelle’s mind was somewhere else.

Peter looked rough. His hair was sticking every-which-way, and he was in a t-shirt… meaning he was going to freeze.

The weekend Michelle had confronted Peter about Spider-Man, they had somehow fallen into a really long conversation about all of the effects the radioactive arachnid had had on Peter. His lack of thermoregulation had caught her attention immediately, it was so interesting.

So when she saw Peter take a slight shiver and curl in on himself within the first two minutes of class, she began to pull off her sweater to give it to him. Michelle stood, about to lean forward with the jacket when the girl next to Peter handed a Midtown sweatshirt to him. She awkwardly paused, Mr. Smith giving her a strange look, and sat back down – her cheeks burning red.

Michelle shot a glare at the back of Gwen Stacey’s head.

It was that she hated Gwen. The blonde-haired girl was nice enough. A bit too “glass is half-full” for Michelle, but they had always gotten on. Gwen was a mathlete – a real genius when it came to numbers and equations. She led the schools Math team and had tried recruiting Peter multiple times. It had always somehow felt like a bit of a battle to Michelle to keep Peter on Decathlon team.

Gwen’s dad was an NYPD police officer, and she lived in some crazy-expensive Pent house in Brooklyn. She was gorgeous. The girl had the perfect body, and her face was all round-eyes and full-lips and Hell if not every girl in Mid-town had wished at some point that they had looked like her.

Michelle would give Gwen this, for how gorgeous she was, she was a genuinely kind person.

Which is why, seeing the girl give Peter a toothy grin, Michelle felt her blood curdle. Peter grinned back, his face a bit red as he slipped on the hoodie and nodded a thanks.

When the bell rang, Michelle rushed forward. She couldn’t stand to see the two of them giving each other lover’s eyes any longer.

* * *

Lunch rolled around and Michelle sat back in the seat she had been sitting in since she and Peter had had their argument. She opened _A Study in Scarlet_ and began to read it as she took a bite of her apple. She was halfway through chapter three when someone occupied the seat across from her.

She swallowed the bite in her mouth and flicked her eyes up to see Brad Davis. He was one of the few who hadn’t been blipped, and it had been so strange to come back and find him all grown up and (really) attractive. He was running back for the football team, and a solid three inches taller than Michelle.

“What’s up Jones?” He asked looking down at the book in her hands, before making eye contact and flashing his award-winning grin at her.

“Oh, just reading.” She had replied awkwardly. The two of them had been good enough friends, but he was Football popular, and Michelle was barely Nerd popular. The crowds didn’t really mic.

“Cool, cool. Well, listen – so I was wondering if you have a date to Prom yet?” Michelle furrowed her brows.

“Um – aren’t you going with Marley? Your girlfriend?” She asked.

“She broke up with me, last night.” Brad said, looking down at the table and chewing on the inside of his lip.

“Oh – um, sorry for asking.”

“No, it’s fine. I just, I know its last minute, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go with me?”

And here lied her dilemma. For the past four years, Michelle and Peter had always said they would go to their proms together. Junior year Peter had gone with Liz, and it hadn’t been a problem. He had talked it out with Michelle, and she knew how much Peter liked Liz. But this year… this year it wasn’t that they didn’t want to go together. It was an argument. And she hadn’t given Peter the time of day for the past two months, and here she had still been expecting him to come up and take her to prom anyways?

She took a deep breath. If he hadn’t asked her yet, he wasn’t going to. Screw him.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll go with you.” Brad smiled.

“Awesome, uh – want to put your number in my phone and I’ll text you for details?” He asked, handing her his phone.

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

After Brad left and she had finished her meal, Michelle stood and began to walk out of the cafeteria to her locker.

She blamed it on the climax of the novel and subsequentially having her nose stuck in it, but Michelle ran nose first into a chest. She jumped back and looked up… up?

Peter was looking at her with a strange look on his face, but all she could notice was how he was _taller_ than her. Huh, Peter Parker finally hit his growth spurt. And… well damn if he didn’t look good. She shook the thoughts from her head and went to step around him, but he caught her arm firmly.

“MJ, I asked what’s up with you and Brad Davis?” And the way he said Brad’s name was… jealous? Bitter. He was angry. And Michelle was angry, so she ripped her arm from his hold and took a firm step back.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” She said, going to leave. But Peter caught her, putting both of his arms around her, and backing her up to the lockers.

“Michelle – you have to…” His voice trailed off.

“I don’t ‘have to’ do anything, Peter.” She spit.

“What’s going on with you and Brad?” He insisted, and damn his stubbornness.

“Well, if you must know – I’m going to Prom with him.” She said. And she really wouldn’t have said it if not to see the flash of hurt across his face. The same hurt she felt in her own eyes every time she thought about Oxford.

“What-why?” He stuttered.

“Because, no one asked me. Brad asked me. I said yes. Easy enough for even you to understand.” She said, going to step under his arms. Peter let her.

“Why would _Brad Davis_ ask _you_?” Peter said, and Michelle felt his words tangibly sting. Sure she wasn’t a Gwen Stacey, but she thought she was pretty enough.

“Oh… gee. Thanks Parker.” She spit, turning to leave.

“I didn’t – dammit MJ, wait!” Peter said, grabbing her arm and spun her around once more. “I just – I thought that we were…” He could see in Michelle’s eyes that he should shut up.

“Thought what? Huh, thought that we were going to prom together?” She said it like she couldn’t imagine the idea. “News flash, Peter – we aren’t even talking. Brad asked me to prom, and I said yes.” She said.

“Fine, I mean, I thought about asking Gwen anyways.” Michelle just nodded.

“Fine. Have fun with her.”

“You know what, I will. At least we don’t argue every five seconds.” He spit.

“You know what… that’s great, Peter. I am so glad that you can go on a prom date without having an argument. It must really suck for people to have their own ideas, right? Or to have someone that stands their ground when you break promises. I hope you have a great time.” And with that, she turned and walked away.

A few tears slipped from her eyes with the hurt as she stepped into the nearest bathroom.

She couldn’t believe that she had done this. She could not believe that she had fallen for Peter Parker. Of all people. She had let his nerdy, loyal, stubborn ass win her over. And she had allowed herself to let her guard down.

She had allowed herself to believe that they would go to England together, that they would get to experience college together… and although she would never tell a soul this, she had constantly imagined that maybe they would even fall in love. But seeing as to their last three months had been filled with anger and arguments, that dream had gone out the window.

Michelle cupped a handful and sink water and pressed it to her face, taking a few deep breaths.

“Suck it up.” She muttered to herself, before turning around.

And finding herself standing right in front of a shocked Gwen Stacey.

“Hey, Michelle.” She said, a warm smile on her face.

“Hey.” She responded, going to leave, but Gwen took a side-step in front of her.

“Um, actually, could I ask you something?” What was it today with people confronting her? She much preferred being ignored.

“Go for it.”

“Well, um – this is a little awkward, but I was wondering about you and Peter? I mean, I know you guys haven’t really been talking for a while, but I just wanted to make sure that there wouldn’t be any bad blood if we went to Prom together? He mentioned it to me a minute ago, and I just, I don’t like having bad feelings with anyone, so I wanted to double check we’d be alright?” And Michelle really wanted to hate her. But she couldn’t, so she let out a huff of a laugh.

“Um, I mean why would you think I would care?” She asked, and Gwen just shrugged her shoulders, her blue eyes going wide. “Gwen, if there’s anything you should know about me and Peter… it’s that we’ve never been interested in each other. In fact, I’ll never be interested in him. Go for it. In fact, go ahead and make that very clear to him for me, okay? And enjoy your prom.”

She had sealed her fate. And her heart hated her for it.


	4. She Never Would Have Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the cab drove, she stared at the city that had never quite felt like home. The city that had only served as a reminder of everything that could have been. Everything that she had ever wanted.   
>  And if Spider-Man had been watching from the corner of a tower as the woman that could have been his left his sight – well, she never would have known that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright - chapter 3 is up a couple days late - my sincerest apologies! I have had finals this week, but I am now a free bird! I hope you are all well, and that you all enjoy this chapter!

Michelle got ready for Prom alone. Ned had messaged her, asking if she and Peter could just put aside their differences for a hangout before they all left each other. Michelle had explained that she would do it just for Ned, because he more than deserved for the two of them to suck up their problems.

Her prom dress was a deep red, and as she looked in the mirror, deciding what to do with her hair and her makeup, she decided to do something new.

Michelle let her hair fall down on her bare shoulders, the natural curls framing her face. She put on makeup, a sharp eyeliner, and a red lip. People always thought she was bad at makeup; truth was she just didn’t wear it much.

Looking in the full-length mirror, Michelle figured she looked good… really good. 

Brad picked Michelle up in his dad’s car, opening the door as she climbed in. He looked really nice, handing her a corsage as she pinned on his boutonniere. The two went out to dinner alone, and Michelle found herself actually enjoying his company. Truth be told, she had just said yes to him to make Peter angry. She didn’t give a crap if he were jealous or not, that was up to him. But Michelle wasn’t just going to go to prom by herself.

But she found herself relaxing, laughing at the easy conversation with Brad. Sure, he wasn’t much of a deep thinker, and he didn’t really challenge her, but it was surprisingly easy to just sit and talk to him. His dad was a lawyer, so the two of them spent their whole meal talking about cases. Michelle even found herself laughing… forgetting about Peter.

By the time the two of them made it to the dance, Michelle felt herself completely relaxing. Brad parked the car and helped her out. She followed him inside, taking photos with his hand resting behind her.

They made their way to the dance floor; the flashing lights and music took over her senses. The two of them quickly found their way onto the dance floor, Brad began to… God, dancing wasn’t the right word for it – Brad _moved_ on the dance floor. All of his football buddies joined in with their dates as Michelle made herself sway to the beat of the music.

She hadn’t realized she was looking for Peter until she spotted him. He was arm in arm with Gwen, the two of them stepping onto the dance floor with smiles on their faces. Honestly, Michelle wasn’t much of one to allow jealousy to touch her life. She thought it was corrosive and not worth the anger, but as she saw Gwen – perfect skin, hair pulled into an elegant braid, and her makeup perfectly done – she felt a pit growing in her stomach.

Peter’s eyes caught hers then, and she forced herself to look away. She continued to dance with Brad, physically withholding herself from looking anywhere in the room besides her date in front of her.

When the first slow dance came, Brad pulled Gwen just a little too close for her liking, and she was about to pull back – not one to let herself be forced into anything she didn’t want to do – when she saw Peter, red-faced with his jaw set. He was angry. He was so angry. And if she could make him feel an ounce of the anger she had felt when he had lied to her for so long, she wouldn’t miss the opportunity. So she folded her arms behind Brad’s neck, resting her head against his shoulder as she pressed in to her date. His hands dropped lower as the two swayed. She could feel Peter’s anger from where she swayed to the song. Her eyes caught Ned, who was dancing with Betty. He was staring at her, unashamedly – with his mouth dropped wide open. He knew what she was doing, but she really didn’t care.

The music continued on; the night blurred together. Her feet killed her, and Michelle found herself so thankful when the last song played.

“We’ve got a party going at Matthew’s house.” Brad said as the two made their way out of the venue. Michelle really did not want to go and watch all of Brad’s football friends get wasted and make poor decisions.

“Um, yeah I think I’ll go home.” She said, Brad just nodded.

“I’ll drop you off.” He had said, but she turned, her back to his car as she smiled. Michelle couldn’t explain the feelings she was having. Because Brad was so much nicer than people gave him credit for. He was a little pushy, sure – but he wasn’t rude. And she could handle a little pushy. Peter, he was – everything. But he had also done something that Michelle wasn’t ready to forgive him for. And here, in front of her – was Brad. Handsome, smart, funny.

So when he bent down, his hand finding her face – she leaned into it. She had kissed a guy before, but this was something more. He pressed into the kiss, pushing her up against his car as he wrapped his arms around her.

They stayed pressed against one another for longer than she had thought, and when he stepped back, she found herself gasping. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she realized that maybe she actually could find herself liking him. The butterflies that he had caused in her stomach attested to that.

“You look so beautiful tonight.” He whispered, his hand rubbing against her back.

“Thanks.” He nodded.

“Alright, I’ll take you home.” He said, and Michelle wasn’t sure that she had ever seen him blush before now.

“Okay.” He turned to walk to the driver’s side, and Michelle looked out over the parking lot to see none other than Peter Parker. He was staring at her; she knew he had seen. She could see in his eyes the anger. But she just gave a shrug of her shoulders and slid into the car.

And she made a decision right then, in that moment. Peter Parker was something in her past. He was something that could have been, someone that could have been hers. And she would never try to pretend that it didn’t hurt. She knew that she was going to forgive him, say a genuine goodbye to him before she left. But maybe Brad could be her new someone. And closing the car door held much more significance than it ever had before.

* * *

Michelle stared at her phone. Graduation had come and gone. Try as she might, throughout the last months of school, and graduating, she hadn’t been able to talk to Peter. He avoided her like the plague. She had texted him a few times, asking to see him, but it never happened. She saw Spider-Man on his outings, watched the news with dread as he had been air-lifted to the Stark tower. She had cried as she texted him – begging him to let her know he was okay. He had never responded, and she had resorted to calling Ned. He had told her that Peter had punctured a long – she had felt like she were the one that couldn’t breathe. But he was fine, already recovered. And that was when she had heard the laughter in the background. Distinctly – Peter and Gwen’s laughter.

“Well, just… um – tell him that I said I’m glad he’s okay.” Ned had promised he would. She couldn’t explain the pit that rested in her stomach. Well, she could have if she had allowed herself to admit that is was sadness and jealousy. But she wouldn’t.

* * *

It was exactly one week until she was going to step on her flight to Oxford. She had finished packing. Said her goodbyes. Her and Brad had decided not to do long-distance. At first it had hurt, but she had known she didn’t want to have that kind of tie back to the city. She had seen Ned. It had been a bit awkward, both set not to speak a word of Peter. They had laughed, played with Legos as they talked about their futures. She and her dad spent every waking moment together. She had thrown away the last remaining photograph she had of her mother’s. Her bedroom was bare. Her heart was heavy.

She woke up the morning of her flight with her heart in her throat. Her father had been planning to go with her, and with tears in his eyes he had come into her room at five in the morning, explaining that he had been called into an emergency surgery. She had smiled, hugging him as tightly as he could – assuring him that she was fine.

When he had left the apartment she had collapsed in tears. Her stomach in her throat as she wept. She would be walking into that airport alone. When she had imagined it growing up, she had always pictured that it would be her and Peter walking in together. May, her dad, and Ned would see them off as they went on this adventure together. But Ned was working. Peter wasn’t speaking to her, and her father was saving lives.

So when the time came, Michelle grabbed her bags, looking into her room one last time as she stepped out. Making her way down to the cab she had called for her.

As the cab drove, she stared at the city that had never quite felt like home. The city that had only served as a reminder of everything that could have been. Everything that she had ever wanted.

And if Spider-Man had been watching from the corner of a tower as the woman that could have been his left his sight – well, she never would have known that.


	5. Buried Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There the keychain would stay. Out of sight, at the back of her mind. Not thrown away but placed aside to grow. It had a home now, and maybe one day, if she moved back to New York it would be removed to come with her.
> 
> But now, it would remain buried deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hee hee ... its been like 3 months - I'm so sorry :) 
> 
> Anyyyywhoooo! Love, Michelle is back in the works! I hope you all enjoy chapter 5!! I kinda turned it into a shameless self-indulging "Moving to England" scene because I could!!!

She had her head leaned against the window of the cab, they were stopped in traffic and Michelle was beyond ready to get to the airport. She was completely lost in her mind – thinking about Oxford and being able to travel into the city and seeing London. She felt excitement stirring in her for the first time as she daydreamed about her little flat and meeting her roommate.

So when someone knocked on her door, she may have let out a scream.

But then her door was being open, and she caught sight of a red and blue suit, and then she felt weightless.

Peter swung the two of them to the top of the bridge she had been sitting on.

“What the Hell, Peter?” She asked incredulously. He pulled off his mask, his eyes focusing intently on hers. He looked… lost. Staring so intently at her – his eyes searching, roaming her face looking for something in particular. Something she was unsure of how to give him.

“I couldn’t do it. I-I couldn’t do it.” He whispered, hands tightly on her waist.

“Do what?” She asked, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

“I couldn’t let you go without saying goodbye. Turns out I’m really really bad at holding a grudge.” She nodded, her hands finding his shoulders.

“Yeah – well you did a pretty good job for a while.” He nodded.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was barely a whisper. The wind around her caught and pulled at her hair, she gave Peter a half smile.

“I have to go.” And God she really didn’t want to. She hated being responsible. She hated having passions – because in this moment she just wanted to kiss him. To kiss him and stay with him. Tuck away in New York and never think about anything ever again. But she couldn’t.

And when Peter closed his eyes and leaned in for that kiss – she had never felt her self-restraint stronger than in that moment. She pushed back slightly, shaking her head. He must have seen in her eyes that the fact that she turned him down had nothing to do with not wanting to kiss him and everything to do with the fact that if she did, she would never step foot on that airplane.

“I can’t. I can’t. I have to go. And I’m going – and I really can’t be tied down. Not now, Peter. Not now.” She could see the pain in his eyes.

“I know. It’s okay.” He pulled her into a hug, his arms tightening around her. “I got you something, close your eyes.” He said, and Michelle did, squeezing them shut. Peter placed something small in her hand. “Open.” When she did, she saw a tiny keychain, with the earth painted on it. And there was an airplane going from New York to England. “Keep in touch, okay?” She could read the sadness in his eyes. And in that moment, every inch of the grudge she had held against him had vanished.

“Okay.”

Peter pulled his mask on and swung Michelle back down to the cab – explaining to the _very_ confused cab driver that he had needed to borrow her for a minute. The driver asked for a photograph – Peter had obliged him. Then with one last look through lensed eyes, he swung away.

She watched him go – her heart aching more and more every second that he grew smaller in her vision. Then he was gone. She slumped down in her seat, wiping her eyes vigorously from where they were leaking.

Michelle held the keychain tightly in her fist. She wanted to say that Peter Parker didn’t have any control over her. She wanted to say that he was excited about England and that it didn’t matter to her that she was going alone but staring at the keychain in her fist had her heart aching Like a black hole had formed in her chest and was slowly building up into something that would encase her body. She didn’t want to leave him.

Walking onto the airplane was the hardest thing she had ever done. She watched the door latch, and that was it. She knew that every event of her life had led up to this moment. She waited for someone to sit down beside her, but no one did. The seat next to her remained empty.

Throughout the flight, when she would pull away from whatever book she brought with her, she would look over at the seat beside her. Her heart would tighten as she realized that it would have been his seat. He could have been there on his way with her. Holding her hand.

With a shake of her head, Michelle put her headphones in and stared out the window.

Peter was someone from her past. She wouldn’t allow herself to be distracted by him anymore. She couldn’t. She was moving to Oxford for her. Peter Parker could come later.

The plane landed smoothly. Michelle fell asleep shortly after the flight started, the gentle turbulence of the plane knocking her out.

She looked at the overcast skies with a tumultuous mixture of excitement and terror. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

She exited the airport quickly enough, her hands loaded down with her two suitcases as she found a cab. She gave the man the address for her new apartment, he smiled kindly at her, asking about what her plans were.

Michelle explained her next year to the man thoughtlessly, her mind focused primarily on the layout ahead of her. The day was overcast, and cars littered the streets. The cab circled around the city, turning here and there as she tried to begin familiarizing herself with her new home.

When she climbed out of the cab, the cabbie helped her with her bags, sending her on her way with a gentle smile. It was warm in England, and she slipped her jacket off and into her backpack.

Lugging her two suitcases through up the stairs was a chore, and she found herself, once again, wishing she had a certain boy with super strength by her side to help.

Nonetheless, Michelle hauled herself up the stairs and used the key she had been mailed to open the front entrance. With a sigh, she remembered she was living on the second floor. Michelle dropped her chin to her chest, before grabbing both suitcases and beginning to drag herself forward.

She made it up the dark green staircase and began to sweat. When she opened the chipped, red door to her apartment, she steeled herself for the beginning of this adventure.

The door swung open and Michelle stood still, looking forward.

It was somewhat of a studio apartment. A small, rectangular room. There was a twin sized bed stuck to the far wall, tucked against a window that took up almost all of the room. To her left was a tiny kitchenette, and on the right wall was a bathroom with a small shower, sink, and toilet. Beside the bathroom was her closet.

The floor was a dark oak floor, the walls a light gray. There was a single light on her ceiling.

Overall, the room looked sad.

She would have to fix that.

With another deep breathe, Michelle pulled her suitcases in, setting them on the floor beside the bed with a huff.

She flopped onto the creaky mattress, staring at the view from her window. Across the street there was a coffee shop and bakery, right beside that a bookstore. She watched as people bustled around on the street below. Some carried umbrellas, an elderly couple stopped at a flower shop, the man handing a few dollars to the owner of the store to pay for the flowers his wife was admiring. Michelle's heart warmed at the sight.

Michelle pulled her speaker from her backpack, setting it on the small desk beside her bed. She clicked on her phone and began to play a rainy-day playlist.

It reminded her of the days spent on her balcony. Peter would swing by as Spider-man, his hair dripping wet when he removed the mask. They would talk, she'd tell him to get out of the rain and he would just roll his eyes at her.

Michelle shook her head and turned to her luggage.

"Alright, Jones. Focus up. Get it done, then you can go shop for a bit."

With her pep-talk done, Michelle began to unpack.

She was an oddly neat person, so packing had been very specific. Under her bed were storage drawers, and she quickly placed all of her folded clothes away, then started on hanging what she could. All of her shoes went to the bottom of the closet in a neat line.

She moved on to her bathroom next, then made her bed. She quickly unpacked all of her books and then looked down at her empty suitcases. They tucked perfectly in the far-left side of the closet.

Michelle looked around the room. It looked better than it had, but she needed some decor. There hadn't been room in her suitcase for it, so she'd just known she'd have to buy it when she arrived to Oxford.

Michelle grabbed her wallet and a lightweight jacket before bounding out the door.

She jogged down the stairs before stepping out onto the street.

She began to walk, taking in the sights and smells of the new location. She headed straight to the cafe, buying a cup of coffee and a warm croissant.

She meandered to the flower shop, finding a few plants that she quickly bought.

Michelle grabbed a few groceries from Sainsbury’s. At the grocery shop she managed to find string lights, a few candles, and a welcome mat.

Her hands were loaded as she made her way back up to apartment 205. She barely managed to open the door without dropping her plants, but she made it in.

She set her things down, filing her groceries away to their respective places.

She quickly found homes for her plants and set her welcome mat outside her door.

The candle was set on the desk beside her bed and lit.

Michelle finished off her coffee as she slipped off her shoes and folded her feet underneath her on her bed.

There was a slight drizzle of rain pouring down as she pulled out her phone. Her dad had responded to her text about her safe arrival.

Michelle bit her lip when she saw a missed call from Peter.

Every fiber of her being wanted to call him back, beg him to join her. But she just slide the call to the left and deleted the notification.

She started her internship in two days, she had moved across the world. He was the one that chose to stay in New York. Michelle grabbed her book from her backpack and leaned back on her pillows.

Tonight was for her.

This internship was for her.

Peter chose New York.

Peter chose to let her leave.

She wouldn't let him distract her. Not now.

Michelle opened the book, something small falling into her lap with a slight jingle. She frowned before pulling it up to her eyes.

It was the keychain.

" _I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye."_ His words echoed inside her head. She pulled the keychain to her chest.

"We wouldn't have had to say goodbye if you'd just come with me." She whispered.

With a jolt, she shot of bed. Michelle grabbed the string of pearls she had bought and raced to her kitchen counter. She gently pulled the plant from its clay pot, before placing the keychain at the bottom of it. She put the plant back in place, packing the dirt back down before putting the plant back on her desk.

There the keychain would stay. Out of sight, at the back of her mind. Not thrown away but placed aside to grow. It had a home now, and maybe one day, if she moved back to New York it would be removed to come with her.

But now, it would remain buried deep.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed let me know in the comments :) Love ya all! 
> 
> Come say hi on my Tumblr @itsreallylaterightnow


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